This is a promising draft, but some issues do need addressing. Please see my com

This is a promising draft, but some issues do need addressing. Please see my comments below:
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1. Your introductory section doesn’t establish adequate context. You should present concrete event and specific debates surrounding these events: school shootings, violent crime, etc. What urgent real-world issue is your argument intended to address? Be sure to develop this for your reader up front.
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2. The early parts of your draft switch back and forth between sources that argue a correlation between media and violence and those who are pushing back against it. I suggest establishing your position first before presenting and addressing sources that disagree with you. In its present form, this draft doesn’t engage in any clear refutation of the counter-point sources you cite.
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3. Your thesis requires a bit more evidence and support. Make sure you’re using your sources as effectively as possible, drawing all possible support from them.
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4. You should present the author’s full name and the title of their argument when citing them for the first time.
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The research paper is the culmination of all the work you have done in developing and researching your topic. It should be a formal argument in which you present a thesis on the main ideas of your project. Your paper should adhere to the conventions of the academic essay:
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An introductory section that presents and contextualizes your topic, main ideas, and thesis.
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Body paragraphs that present and develop your main ideas, claims, research, and evidence.
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Contextualized quotations and paraphrases from at least four of your sources that develop your thesis in a clear and relevant way.
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Correct in-text documentation of all sources in MLA style.
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A concluding section that restates the thesis and ends on a memorable note.
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A complete works cited list.

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